Life is a never ending learning experiance

So it's been three years since I have blogged. I have learned so much in the last i three years, especially this  year. Right now I need to blog as an outlet to express my thoughts and feelings that I am experiencing in this time of my life. Right now I am still attending Utah State, I will graduate with a Bachelor's in Psychology in two more semesters and after that I will see where life takes me. This last year of my life has been quite a journey. Through the tears, laughter, love, and struggles, I have learned more about life in the past twelve months than I have in the last 32 years of my life. On June 2, 2012 my father passed away with ALS commonly known as Lou Gehrig s Disease. Basically this disease damages motor neurons that controls your muscles, your muscles pretty much just waste away. I remember so clearly last summer when my father told us the news. I knew what this disease was but I was in extreme denial. My father was a UPS driver for over 20 years and a firefighter for 14, no way was this disease going to take him down. At the time my parents were divorced, but they had always remained friends. My amazing selfless mother decided to move my father back into her home to be his caregiver. I was very unsure of this in the beginning, but my mother gave me the best gift I could had ever received. My dad and I had are ups and downs while I was growing up. We both had very stubborn personalities, and often butted heads. I also learned quite a bit from my father. He was a very compassionate man and cared about others deeply. He was always doing something for others, whether it was bringing my mom home a diet coke or checking the oil in my car, he never thought twice about being in the service of others. I watched my father battle a disease that stripped him of everything, simple things like walking, getting dressed and brushing your teeth became a struggle, but my dad still got up everyday and fought to do everything he could on his own. He fought right up until the very hour that he passed away. Suddenly one day he was gone and so was the last 32 years of my life. Those 32 years seem so long, but in reality they are not so long. It's funny the little things you miss about someone. Today I miss his voice. I can look at pics and see his face, but I can't hear his voice. I can't hear I love you Anne or can I get you anything at the gas station while I am there. I learned so much from my dad in those last seven months. My dad was no longer just a dad, he was a human being who was suffering and relied on the support of those around him.

 Truth is we are all human beings, whether your a dad, a mother, a sister or brother, UPS driver, firefighter, President of the United States, a rock star, a millionaire, regardless of any label we are all in need of each other. The love and support that my family has shown each other during these last several months is incredible. I have learned to be less critical of others for I might need them to be my strength someday. We can learn so much from others if we take the time to look around and be less judgmental. I will admit had pretty bitter feelings towards my father during the last five years of my life. I think that it is easy to get caught up in the negative in life. Thanks to my mother I was able to open my mind and heart, I let my father back into my life. I have learned to focus on the positive and my father had so many amazing traits that had been placed on the back burner. I am so glad that my eyes were opened to the great person he was. I may have missed out this great learning experience if I would have kept a closed mind and heart. I also have learned that even in our darkest moments you can still get up and push forward, everyone has the strength within them.